Maureen Barfs on the Dog

Breakfast time before school has got to be one of the most diverse times of day, in terms of its overall entertainment value.  Some mornings are full of laughter, some dull and lifeless.  Some mornings are quick, efficient, and everyone on the ball, and some mornings are full of yelling and prodding in the effort to get them dressed and out the door.  But every once in a while, something happens before school that is unusually memorable.

One thing that I noticed early in our relationship is the fact that Nikki’s kids had no ability whatsoever to read the early warning signs of “I am about to vomit”.  When they threw up, it just exploded out of them wherever they happened to be standing.

This occurred one morning at breakfast.  Maureen realized, characteristically late, that she felt sick and needed to throw up.  She made it about a foot away from the table and then unleashed the nastiness... right onto the back of our WHITE dog, who was casually moseying around the table waiting for food to hit the floor.

Now, I could end the story here, and that would be memorable enough... oh, no.  It gets better.

Because four other children witnessed this - while eating breakfast - we nearly had a vomit-fest worthy of a Monty Python film.  I told all the kids to just go into the living room and wait this out while we clean up the floor... and Maureen... (she tried to prevent the vomiting from happening by partially shielding her mouth, but that didn't help anything).  

The dog also decided to join the kids in the living room, and it was at that moment that the dog decided that she did not like the warm, wet feeling on her back.  So, naturally, she did what all dogs do in these situations... she shook from head to tail, sending bits of vomit soaring rapidly in all directions.  Nikki and I did not see this because we were tending to poor Maureen who was feeling both ill and now embarrassed.  But there was little doubt that something really bad had just happened when the kids simultaneously broke out in a very loud chorus of “EEEEEEEWWWW!!!”

We did not make it to school on time that day.